Parties with Friends

Friendships have never come easy to Damion, at least not the types of “friendships” that I would think of when the word comes to mind. He enjoys socializing and being around others, but his difficulties with communication and understanding can create barriers when trying to connect with neurotypical peers. It often requires an additional investment or understanding from the other person that not all kids, especially young kids, have the ability to give.

It’s not surprising that the idea of a “friend” party for his birthday has always made me nervous. I’ve heard those heartbreaking stories about children having birthday parties with no one showing up. That’s why, for years, we’ve opted for birthday celebrations with our wonderful extended family, who have been such a blessing in our kids’ lives. But Damion is growing up, and as much as I wish I could keep him little forever, I know it’s time for a change.

We made the decision to step out of our comfort zone and host a “friends” party for Damion’s 11th birthday. I sent out invitations to all the kids in his special needs class, as well as two neurotypical boys who visit his class and spend time with all the kids occasionally. I allowed plenty of time for RSVPs, hoping I could adjust plans if needed. I understand that everyone is busy, and unfortunately, I haven’t had the chance to get to know all the parents of the invited kids to understand their schedules or whether they would be able to attend.

 Fortunately, I have developed good relationships with the parents of two boys in Damion’s special needs class. They both take part in Special Olympics Bowling with Damion, so I was able to talk to those parents in person about the party. Realizing that these two boys would be there, I understood that the party might be small, but at least Damion would have a couple of his best buddies there.

I was pleasantly surprised to receive a message from the mother of one of the neurotypical boys who was invited, confirming that he would be attending the party. I was thrilled. Then, to our delight, we found out at the party that the other neurotypical boy who was invited would also be joining us. Let me tell you, these boys are some of the sweetest young men I have ever met. They have wonderful parents, and I was so glad to finally meet them. Both boys are very involved in sports and even skipped a practice to come to the party.

The smile on Damion’s face when he saw all of those friends show up to that party is something I will never forget. His first friends’ party was even better than I could have imagined. Those boys spent the evening playing and laughing together. It was the kind of fun you would see at just any typical friend’s party. Typical is not something we often get, but that feeling I got as I watched Damion just be a “typical kid” felt amazing. It is my deepest hope that we can continue to build on all these friendships and keep all these wonderful boys and families in our lives. Here’s to hopefully many years of more “friend birthdays” to come.